This is a good and bad post.
Good first? I got engaged! Best thing in the whole entire world. He really is the love of my life, my soul mate, the only person I’m able to fully be myself around.
Here comes the bad.
I’m so exhausted. I just want to get away from everything. I want our apartment already. I need our apartment already. Everything is just irritating me so much and i need a break. I mean sure I get angry now over the smallest things, but it’s because i’ve been building up all the bullshit everyone does inside and i’m done. I can’t build up anymore. I can’t handle it. I’m tired. I just want to cry for no reason. I need a job, but no one wants to fucking hire me. I need people to mind their own business, and I need to be treated with respect. Stop bitching and yelling and blaming everything on me. Stop interrupting, and having the world revolve around you. Apparently me being mad about the violence and the arguing is me being in the wrong. Why do I always have to be in the wrong???? I don’t understand. The world does not revolve around anyone. Either you’re disabled and you complain about every GOD DAMN thing, or you’re a bipolar bitch and you complain about every GOD DAMN thing. I can’t get a fucking break. And yeah so I’ve been moody. I’ve been irritated easily. Because of you fucking people. How am I supposed to be calm and collective as I usually am when all you fucking people do is complain and yell and argue and scream and all of this stupid ass shit towards me. WHEN I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU PEOPLE. Sure, I accidentally left the laundry room door open. WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK??? No need to bitch and moan towards me about something fucking idiotic. Things like that I have NO tolerance for anymore. Where is my thank you? Or good morning? All you want is to use me. That’s fucking ALL. And I’m tired of it. Nobody is ever thankful. So if you treat me with disrespect why should I respect you? And you don’t think I’m having my own problems right now? Money. I need fucking money. I need a job. Which neither of those two fucking things are going to happen apparently. Without those two things I can’t get the fuck out of this god damn house and be with my fiance.
Point blank. Things get built up, and I get to the point where I can’t handle the bullshit anymore. And I’m not a child, so I won’t just let shit slide. I’m tired of everyone thinking it’s okay to act a certain way towards me. No, it’s not okay. You’ve been doing it for far too long, and I don’t know if I can get any of you to change. But I just don’t have respect for not a damn person anymore. I’m tired of people. I’m tired of being the nice guy. I hate everyone. Being the bigger person all the time sucks. It doesn’t work too well with my depression either. In case any of you cared.
